Good thing I’m on a diet
You know that scene in Caddyshack where a kid throws a Baby Ruth candy bar into the pool and gradually people in the water start to notice it and Jaws music is playing and the people scream and scramble out of the water like they’re fleeing a great white shark? Well, last night the same thing happened except that it was our bathtub, there were two kids in it, and it wasn’t a candy bar. The real thing.
The main lesson to be learned from this psychologically-scarring experience: Always verify the status of the Number 2 situation before attempting a bath. We hadn’t had this happen to us in the 3.3 years that we’ve had children and we (and by “we” I mean not me) were a bit too quick to get the kids away from the dinner table and into the bath. After Jason took them upstairs, I called the babysitter (I was out of the house yesterday when she ended her shift) to find out how the day went. I now realize that just as she was telling me No, the kids didn’t poop all day, one of them was in fact taking care of business in the bathtub. I started heading upstairs, and as I approached the door I heard Jason saying “We need to get out of the tub! We need to get out of the tub! E!!” I entered to find both kids standing on the bathmat and the tub littered with bath toys and at the bottom, a poop.
I couldn’t even move for a good ten seconds… Who did it, and did they still need to go more? Our son upon (urgent yet blame-free) questioning said he did it, so I tried to get him to sit on the potty but that just made him upset. The baby just held onto my leg. Finally Jason got the kids in the shower and washed them each several times. I dealt with the mess, threw out most of the bath toys, the bath mat, and scrubbed the tub repeatedly.
In the end, I’m 95% sure it was the baby, for reasons I won’t get into. Plus while I was putting our son to bed, I asked him again who had pooped in the bathtub, and this time he said his sister did it. We were careful at all times not to sound too agitated — the kids even had fun in the shower — so I don’t think he had any motivation to lie. After the kids went to bed I cleaned and disinfected some more, and the bathroom is now spotless and according to the labels, 99.999% germ free. You could even eat in there, although it will be a long time before I ever look at a candybar again.
Posted by Erin 
10.Jan.08
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That’s really funny, although it probably wasn’t humorous at the time. Potty humor rules!
Hey! That’s pretty funny. Where’s the rest of your blog? How’s BallHype going?